Keep the dream alive…… 

I put my heart on the line
And beamed an optimistic smile 

Enthralled, excited to fill a spot in my success file 

But hey! that was the end of another mile

And tears streamed down like the river Nile

I know my conscience 

So I allow them judge my silence

While they chatter, I wander in the waves of the ocean

Suppressing my emotions

diluting my pain with my mental aberration.

Gliding deep down my shallow voice 

Found the strength in my weakness 

The relief in my grief 

Like the twinkle that guided Harriet to freedom

I retraced the path out of boredom




 
Now, I can feel the breeze raise my hair 

Infusing my broken spirit with nature’s flair 

My endorphins are high 

Surging levels of serotonin, that I can feel when I sigh 

Alas! I can fully regain myself by nigh



And when I write my memoir

I smile because I did something worth while.

By keeping that dream alive

©Fadlullah  Mufti Ibrahim 

…blame me not 

A lonely flower in a  briar of broken promises, I am. 
An audacious spirit, I possess. 
And now, I am the nexus of the rampage

that damaged the assemblage of the blank pages. 

Spilled the ruby ink, sprayed the yellow ink; I scribbled a pseudo-rainbow art to cover up my blunder. 

And tried to coat myself with flimsy excuses.

Jeez! the cloak was seized before I had the chance to push an arm through the sleeves. 
I filed my own suit, I’m my own plaintiff.

Pushing so hard to escape the avalanche of barrages I find myself trapped beneath. 

Trying to find answers in my mind’s eye 

to counter the confusion between my soul and my spirit, myself and the crowd, my heart and my mind. 

Better to spew those words which appear so heavy to be lifted off my tongue than 
to crawl stealthily like a wounded soldier escaping a battle field. 
Nay! I’m stuffed with pride and ego 

My body, just like my mind cannot contain the embarrassment,

the awkward silence, the uncomfortable stares. 

I would rather zip my lips and absorb the blame and dilute my pain with the goodness in my heart. 

Guilty to the core 

Trembling like a tiny prey in a lion’s paw 

Soaked in sweat, but cold has caught me in the heat of this unfair trial. 
For now, I’m the pebble that knocked down the golden vase, 

the lowly servant who ate on the royal table, 

the stranger who infiltrated the forbidden kingdom

Thee know not the spines that pricked the soles of my feet,

thee know not the unseen battles my spirit fights,

Thee not know the bloody tears that ensanguine my white pillow each night. 

When I look in the mirror, I see a patched warrior painted rogue by the rancid comments of accusers, 

who only know how to make up stories to satisfy their assumptions. 
Before thee judge me, 

Allow the dark clouds above my head to sprinkle the pristine droplets upon my unfortunate situation. 

You don’t know what I’ve faced

You don’t know what I feel. 
No one knows ; No one cares 
So Blame me not

This is all I ask. 

When you lose yourself…. 

Once in a blue moon, there appears out of no where a missile which strikes us extremely hard that we get immobilized by the gravity of the damage done as a result. Well, perhaps, you are yet to experience something as such or I guess you have had your token of surprise already. 

In as much as we tend to be goal-oriented and focused, somewhere along the line, when we least expect, we get confronted by a situation we ruled out as a possibility. It could be something or someone popping out of no where and suddenly becoming our greatest obsession or I should say priority. Conventionally, every experience or feeling for the first time seems so powerful to overcome and we inadvertently succumb until we manage to find a redirection to our original trail. Prior to that, we get lost within our own selves, overtaken by emotions, dominated by inactivity and wondering if a successful recovery was even viable. Intermittently bootstrapping ourselves to find loopholes or portals to disengage ourselves from this untimely ordeal fails repeatedly. 

We get chained and trapped in a simulated realm where we don’t feel our ‘real-selves’ anymore. Goals get replaced with desires, failing to cognize our  actual aims and driven by the impulse to gratify our newly found source of satisfaction-a false one though-and more especially our dreams appear us fairy tales we narrated to our selves a long time ago. In other situations, it isn’t us trying to gratify our desires, but rather we suffering the agony of a loss, fighting so hard to let go but to no avail. Indeed, striving to let go of something or erasing a melancholic memory completely out of our minds is extremely nerve-racking especially when we displayed so much emotional attachment. 

Nothing hovers around forever. Thanks to that, holla! we find ourselves in the long run and resume work much more than before-much more ambitious and focused-but simultaneously keeping in mind that a similar ‘surprise-missile’ could land again. Therefore, the need to act more circumspectly and clever.
 
In the end, all I can say is ‘When you lose yourself, don’t lick your wounds for so long, seize a breeze and find yourself as quickly as possible’

©Mufti Fadlullah 

 

Initiate the change you want!

Is there something you wish could be changed? Something you think is not right. Perhaps a way of thinking, a way of doing things, a crude assumption, anything considered conventional or just anything your thoughts do not side with? What are you doing about it? What’s holding u back? criticism? disapproval? failure? weak initiative?

Let me just go straight to the point: This is our world. We can’t make it perfect but we can counteract its effect by modifying and eradicating certain things.  Everyone has something he wished would be changed, but we always waiting for someone to initiate the campaign, then we quickly jump in to explain how desperately we had wanted to initiate that change but got held back by certain ‘so-called-factors”. Meanwhile, in fact we would have done nothing about it on our own. We think our effort would be insignificant and would cause only a marginal difference. Yes! not everything can be changed but most things can be changed. We rule the world. It is subject to our actions and mindset. How we operate the world, how we manipulate things to suit man’s comfort. 

I ask again: Is there anything you wished could be changed? What are you doing about it? I think you have the answers now. If you intend to change something, you got to change your mindset first. Psyche yourself up. Stop blaming people. Stop being querulous and try your best to do what you have to do. Just try it. If it doesn’t work, congratulations, at least you tried and failed. Most people won’t even give it a thought. That’s the difference. Just try it. You could be the potential hero of a paradigm shift.
©Mufti Fadlullah 

Encoded Message 

The most crucial things in life are never written in books. They are supposed to be felt – love, betrayal , disappointment, failure, success. 

We love until we get ignored and brokenhearted. We trust until we get betrayed. We take risks and fail. Failure slaps us in the face and you know what? Not in private but in public, keeping  us humble in the process. Success puts smiles on our faces. 

We keep perpetuating this cycle through out our lives. Why? Yes, there is still an atom of hope residing in our hearts that tells us to remain in this loop till we finally hit the bull’s-eye. And finally, these gruesome experiences are somehow combined to give us the right dosage of maturity we need in our lives. We then become conscious of our surroundings. Knowing whose hands to hold, who to love superficially and who to love deeply, who to trust blindly and who to trust circumspectly. The risks we ought to take and those we need to ignore. The promises we need to make and fulfil and those we need not make in the first place. A collection of the above mentioned broaden our minds beyond the margins that once trumped our maturity. Funny enough, we reminisce those moments we acted weird and “foolish” and laugh at oursleves, wondering how on earth we were so naive in the past. 

For every experience, there lies a hidden lesson within, a lesson subtly encoded  which requires a prudent mind to discern and decipher. 

There is still one thing you can do that can obliterate the “foolish decisons” and to redeem yourself from “self-blame”. Simply take a cue from every moment you acted naively and “foolishly”.
And mind you, don’t assume you are ready now for the main game. You’re still in the warm-up phase, meaning there’s countless more mistakes you ought to make to reach the pinnacle of maturity. Trust me. You will falter again! and again! but don’t sob so much, forgive yourself and understand that you are heading towards something bigger. In order to get there, you need to experience true agony. Only then will you understand the meaning of “The days that break you are the days that make you “. I don’t know your current emotional state, but know this : “You are not the only one ” Everyone is fighting a battle of his own. Just keep “enjoying” yours. Keep crying and laughing successively. It’s fun 
©Mufti Fadlullah 

LETTER TO HUMANITY “the pauper’s mantra”

In the comfort of uncomfort 

Heart screaming silently for attention 

Minds in a spiral thinking spree 

Drifting away from reality; shifted towards humanity. 

Upstreaming against the downstream of the motion.

Lost in the labyrinth of a confused aberration. 
In the full glare of a clear sunrise 

Hopes rise high to the level of the horizons.

Seeking to be in tune with humanity’s reasons 

Only to end up in the doldrums of a prejudicial prison.

Yearning for a simple gaze in my direction, 

A possibility of a miniscule probability. 
Oblivion tenders my humility 

The prison carved by the mindset of society 

To marginalize the bearer of the conjoined palms 

Like a mission orchestrated by the clever instincts of a sadistic assassinator. 

That plants cold ice in the warmth of a kind heart.

To ignore the  emotions encoded in the awe of a gloomy expression. 
 

Here I stand in the irony of society 

Malnourished beyond nature’s repair 

A brittle ice I am, hanging on the trailing end of a ripe passion fruit.

Only a matter of time until the sun’s heat melts me off the temporal attachment above the ground. 
Listen to the frequency of my heartbeat  

And relay to the world, the anomaly in the morphology of evolution. 

Emaciated skin, resting on thin legs 

Swollen faces, resting on thin necks 

This is the reality 

The reality so outlandish to replenish amidst the stylish life society fails to relinquish.

I’m the pauper 

I’m the one trying to swim against the brutal currents of the river of life 

I’m the one immobilized by the rejection of humanity 

I’m the one who knocks onto your heart with the sad expression on my face. 

I’m the one sitting on the extreme negative of the comfort scale. 

Answer my silent prayer oh Lord. 

And draw the minds of these people to my direction with love and passion. 

This is my heart’s mantra of a hopeful relief. 
©Mufti Fadlullah…I’m the Voice of the Voiceless! 

..Home Coming 


​An awful blast that implodes the ball room, 

Shattering hopes into pieces of disoriented data, 

Like a miniature explosive dropped into the vacuum of a piece of glassware. 

Cascading love into streams of contaminated bliss. 
Time passed away

The relics of those memories still linger in my mind.

A memento I summon to scare the gloom on my face. 

But in all, the gloom hides beneath the Beam and shows up when the beam dims away.

Akin to that feeling, indescribable 

the feeling concealed in the darkest point of a wormhole, 
Absorbing the sweet liquid wrapped in the cocoon of that thing called ‘affection’

Just like blowing away the vapour of sumptuous redolent recipe, that feeling. 

Never bother to understand .

Me thinking of it, be putting my endocrine imbalanced, 

Destabilizing melatonin action to rob me of slumber. 
The past is past; but memories are never final, 

they stand the test of survival 

and capable of revival 

All I know is that, it happened and I let it happen

Even so, there is always brighter corner in the darkest shade. 

I shall find that brightest corner, magnify it’s beam and illuminate the path ahead. 

The heavens shall anticipate my arrival.
©Mufti Fadlullah