A lonely flower in a briar of broken promises, I am.
An audacious spirit, I possess.
And now, I am the nexus of the rampage
that damaged the assemblage of the blank pages.
Spilled the ruby ink, sprayed the yellow ink; I scribbled a pseudo-rainbow art to cover up my blunder.
And tried to coat myself with flimsy excuses.
Jeez! the cloak was seized before I had the chance to push an arm through the sleeves.
I filed my own suit, I’m my own plaintiff.
Pushing so hard to escape the avalanche of barrages I find myself trapped beneath.
Trying to find answers in my mind’s eye
to counter the confusion between my soul and my spirit, myself and the crowd, my heart and my mind.
Better to spew those words which appear so heavy to be lifted off my tongue than
to crawl stealthily like a wounded soldier escaping a battle field.
Nay! I’m stuffed with pride and ego
My body, just like my mind cannot contain the embarrassment,
the awkward silence, the uncomfortable stares.
I would rather zip my lips and absorb the blame and dilute my pain with the goodness in my heart.
Guilty to the core
Trembling like a tiny prey in a lion’s paw
Soaked in sweat, but cold has caught me in the heat of this unfair trial.
For now, I’m the pebble that knocked down the golden vase,
the lowly servant who ate on the royal table,
the stranger who infiltrated the forbidden kingdom
Thee know not the spines that pricked the soles of my feet,
thee know not the unseen battles my spirit fights,
Thee not know the bloody tears that ensanguine my white pillow each night.
When I look in the mirror, I see a patched warrior painted rogue by the rancid comments of accusers,
who only know how to make up stories to satisfy their assumptions.
Before thee judge me,
Allow the dark clouds above my head to sprinkle the pristine droplets upon my unfortunate situation.
You don’t know what I’ve faced
You don’t know what I feel.
No one knows ; No one cares
So Blame me not
This is all I ask.